We Still Have a Choice

I am reading a book entitled The Recovery of Confidence by John W. Gardner. It's unorganized as all hell and some of his rhetorical strategies are ineffective and overused. But Gardner has some really powerful, beautifully articulated ideas here, and I feel compelled to share the first few pages of Chapter Eight, "We Still Have a Choice":  


     "If you ask someone to describe his idea of Utopia, the chances are he will outline a world that is at odds with everything we know about man and his institutions. He will ignore (or deal unrealistically with) the flaws in human nature that every society must cope with continuously. He will ignore the tendencies in human organization that will always imperil individuality. But his most important omission will be the element of moral striving. 
     Typically, his Utopia will be static. Perfection will have been achieved. And much that makes life alive will thereby have been eliminated. There is no seeking when you have already found; no problem-solving when you have the answers; no joy of the climb when you're sitting at the summit; no thrill of cultivation when it's always harvest time. Such perpetual success without effort, arrival without journeying, solution without trial and error would be inanimate--and insupportably dull. It is precisely that inanimate quality, the absence of any element of effort, that makes the conventional concept of "happiness" so bland, empty, and meaningless. 
     We are not at our best when the battle is won; we are strivers, at our best when the goal seems nearly unattainable. That is our nature. And it fits us well for the world in which we find ourselves. There are inescapable features of the human condition that guarantee the continued struggle.
     There are things in human nature that make static perfection unthinkable. For example, if we could today completely eliminate from the society all prejudice, all hostility, all tyrannizing of one man over another, it would begin to creep back tomorrow. And there are things in human organization that make static perfection impossible. If we could bring our society to a pitch of perfect vitality and creativity today, the processes of decaying would begin tomorrow. The tendencies of human organization rigidify, to exalt form over spirit, to stifle individual creativity, to resist innovation would reassert themselves--and it not countered would eventually triumph. 
     The truth is that we can look forward to no rest. We can seek and find; but what we find today will be taken for granted--or rejected--tomorrow. And the search will begin anew. We can prove the great theorems today, but new theorems will take their place. The moral insights of tomorrow will make today's striving seem primitive.
     That is living, and we are well fitted for it."

So Little Time: Thoughts from a Frustrated Mind

I returned from fall break less than 24 hours ago, so how in the world am I already just as stressed out as I was before break? I am beginning to realize that I am not Superwoman. I cannot accomplish everything and expect to still be standing at the end of the day. We all have to make choices; we all have to prioritize because something's gotta give.


Today I had to choose between finishing Shakespeare's Henry VI Part 3 for class or going to yoga. Now, I have not been to yoga in over two weeks because schoolwork and Aid to South Africa have been taking up all of my time. So I chose yoga, and the class was great! I felt so fulfilled the second I walked into the room; I knew I belonged there, in that peaceful, sacred space.


But my Zen was rudely interrupted when I had to go to class and failed my Shakespeare quiz. This frustrates me because it's not that I don't want to work hard--I do work hard. There just aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all I want to do. So the part that's especially difficult for me to accept in all of this is that whatever tasks fall from the top of my priorities list gets pushed to the side and I am unable to give them my full attention. I read as much of the play as I could, but I decided the rest of the time should be spent on bettering my mind and body.


Can anybody tell me: Why should I be punished for that?

Making Moves

I am finally starting to realize what it is that I want to pursue. Today, I have an interview with County Lines magazine for their editorial internship position next semester. It surprised me to hear back from them so quickly since I just applied Thursday evening, but I'm certainly not complaining. It was a relief to finally narrow down what it is that I am looking for and what direction I want to start moving in. I am excited by the idea of working with County Lines, and I do hope everything works out. If it doesn't work out with this particular magazine, though, that's perfectly okay--I refuse to be discouraged. I refuse to sit back and let my life be decided for me, and I am going to stay proactive and continue going after what it is I want until I get it.


Even if I am given an editorial internship position and decide editing/working with a magazine is not for me, the internship will still be a success. I just needed to make a decision and start moving in some direction so that I can figure out what is and isn't for me. There is no shame in working temporarily in a field that isn't a good fit for you. In fact, it's the best way for you to discover what IS for you.


I am feeling really good about all of this. You just gotta go for what you want and let it all play out. So here goes nothing!